Sometimes we donot feel like getting out of the bed, the warm embrace of the blanket is too soothing to risk for an aimless day ahead. Nothing in the world could motivate me, you could, but there you’re living a thousand miles away from my heart,a bad dream has some potential but the prospect of a dull day, a dry life that has only to offer me lentil soup seasoned with asparagus ,simply throws out the idea out of the window.
What if I’d taken a toll on the day, what if I get out. I’ll struggle all my way to take a long hot shower, and try and think hard, things that concern me, make and break me. There’d been a time, I’d thought I wasn’t like all the rest, nothing like ordinary.But now I know, I was’nt, I was far worse. I’d try and think of things that matter, that define a purpose for life, like self respect, for instance.
And now even the thought makes me roll on the bed, in laughter. I’d just been drowning every piece of that respect bit by bit for the past so many weeks. I think today I just threw the last piece out of the balcony to a barking dog. He seemed happy and fulfilled feasting on it.
Do you think I’d done that so I could once again evolve, reincarnate as a new individual, full of life,and energy and puropose??? Bullshit. I know one could never be freed of memories and the burden of one’s action, probably I’d never be able to earn for myself the last piece of respect, a stray beast feasted on.
But I’d done that because I’m bored, life is dull and pain is fascinating. Fascinating as hell.So much so that if nobody else is,I must inflict it on me, on people who love me. Because love comes at a price and if I paid my share, you must too. So let me sleep and just dont pull away the blanket off my face.